by Naomi | Jul 15, 2014 | Creative Life
I just read a post by Michael Hyatt about the way that balance feels. You should read it, too.
Michael wrote that when one is balancing on a rope, one doesn’t feel balanced. Instead, one is constantly noticing what is off-balance and adjusting. When I read his words, my stomach did that strange swoop thing it does when I’m walking on any narrow object. Yes, I thought. Absolutely. No wonder the very people who intentionally seek balance always feel off-course. The only way to stay balanced to be aware of what’s out of balance. I’ve written frequently about finding balance through adjusting expectations. When we have a realistic picture of our lives, grounded in the facts of our given circumstances, only then can we make needed adjustments.
Last weekend, I spent time with alumni from Hamline’s MFA program. The question came up: How do writers find a work-life balance? For writers, finding balance is particularly hard. We are passionate about sitting down at the page and setting down words. We must do this for our mental and spiritual health. Yet, writing is such a quiet, personal thing, that it can appear like doing nothing. Sometimes the people in our life point this fact out, asking us to drive them to the airport or help pack for a move instead. For me, though, the biggest obstacle is myself. Daily, I struggle to remember that my writing is important, that it matters, and that giving myself the time to write isn’t selfish. I’m giving myself time to be me. Wouldn’t I passionately defend such time for anyone else?
So, here is the reality. We aren’t finding balance. We are actively balancing. It’s a verb, not a noun, and one one that evokes a visceral, gut-level sensation. Balancing isn’t a warm glow the way happiness is–That’s where we run into trouble. We expect balance to feel soft and airy, the way one might feel after an intense yoga session. Balance is a jolt, a shock of electricity, an instinctual reaction built into our DNA. We may long for balance that feels calm and settled, but instead, we must adjust our expectations. Balance is aware of itself. It is an ongoing, active process, full of experimentation, strategy and practice.
What if instead of asking, “How do I find a work-life balance?” we asked, “Where am I leaning too heavily? What adjustments might I make to right myself today?” The more specific the answers, I think, the better. No need to be overly ambitious about fixing one’s whole life. Tomorrow, we may be out of balance in a completely other way. This task is one that can’t be checked off the to-do list. We must engage in balance every day.
Balance is individual, but in the same way that stories deal in specifics, the particulars of others’ solutions can clear our own murky waters. So, what are you doing today to adjust and find balance? I’d love to hear your thoughts below.
photo credit: Jeff Pang via photopin cc
by Naomi | May 28, 2014 | Creative Life
When you set out to do something, truly commit, you can’t have any idea what’s around the corner. That’s the beauty of a journey, I suppose, maybe even the reason for a journey. We want to strike out into new territory for better or worse. We want to grow.
If you’ve been reading along these past few months, you know I’ve set out on a Hero’s Journey, and that about a month ago, I transitioned from the first stage of Ordinary Life to the stage of Listening for the Call. Some practices I intended to put in place in order to listen included yoga and a specific kind of prayer called Lectio Divina, a prayer that acknowledges the need for silence and listening after reflecting on sacred words.
I have started working with these practices, but what has overshadowed this month more than anything was the sudden death of my aunt. Listening hasn’t been about holding practices out at an arms length. I’d been thinking of listening as a quiet, settled activity, one that would allow me to breathe deep and soak in some kind of capital T truth. Or some kind of capital Q quest. Listening hasn’t been anything like that this month.
It started with a phone call when my husband and I were out for dinner. My phone didn’t ring, but I saw a message pop up from my mom, unusual for a Friday night. Unusual enough that I listened to the message, and from the sound of her voice urging me to call tonight or tomorrow, I knew I needed to call right then. Listen.
I called and she told me the news about my aunt. It was a month and a day after my uncle, another of my mom’s siblings, had passed away. She assured me that all would be okay, and yet I heard underneath that she needed me. My upcoming week was full of preparation for a full-school musical I was directing, but when I sat down to tell my husband the news, he asked, “Do you need to go home?” Listen.
Yes, I needed to go home, right away. The next morning, I woke up early and was on the road, driving to Portland as the sun rose. Friends and colleagues covered me so I could be with my family. On Sunday, Mother’s Day, I felt the tiniest of nudges: Go for a walk. Go to the Gorge. Listen.
My mom and I went for a walk to get coffee, and we talked the whole way. After taking care of a little more business, we went to the Columbia Gorge and watched water pour off cliffs, mist filling the air with energy, freshness, life. We were on the edge that day, so close to death and so aware of the life around us, the beauty just waiting to be noticed. Had I been home, I’d probably have been fretting over the musical or the multitude of other details about life. Listen.
After a few days, I came back home and dove in to help finish the show. A little less than a week later, I stood in the auditorium watching the kids take their bows, and then the auditorium burst into song, singing to me. Happy Birthday. Listen.
I’ve been struggling to name the call, to wrap my mind around something that is so simple it’s difficult to label. It’s the starkness of seeing what’s left when a life ends, and yet tasting the richness of being present, of seeing one’s work right here, right now. What am I being called to do? What is the work of this journey?
One could call it many things. Settling into my skin. Being Naomi. Becoming an artist. It’s definitely not about working harder or accomplishing more. The call is about how I life my life, not about what I do so much as about who I am. Maybe once I set off on this journey, the call will crystalize, become even more clear. I like the word “becoming.” For the past ten years, I’ve worn a butterfly ring, a symbol of the process of transforming, a life theme for me. I think I’ll set out with that word in mind.
I’ve also realized I need a ritual, some kind of marker to help myself pass from stage to stage. It’s hard to know when one stage is done and when the next is ready to begin. I do think it’s been the right choice not to force each phase to last a month. Some will be shorter and some longer. That’s only natural. However, a tangible act is needed to mark the passage. Were I on a real journey, I might mark the path with a special rock, or write what I’ve learned on a paper and toss it into my bonfire. Probably I’d keep one copy, too, so as to keep track of what had come before. Maybe I can find some kind of replica of this in my real, everyday life, since I’m not hiking trails or cooking by bonfire each night. Something will come to me, I’m sure. And then, I’ll move through the next stage, Crossing the Threshold into… who knows. Whatever it is, I know it will give me opportunity to grow, to notice the richness of life, to be fully present right now. Listen. Each moment matters.
photo credit: Alaskan Dude via photopin cc
by Naomi | May 7, 2014 | Creative Life
The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. Walt Disney
I’m wrestling with the temptation to stick with the beginning of this journey for too long, to try to get everything in order before allowing the journey to really start. But that’s not how the phase of ordinary life works in the Hero’s Journey. In every epic adventure I’ve read, the journey takes the hero by surprise.
It’s time to start to listen for the call to adventure. I need to be ready for it, whenever it appears. So, I’m erasing the word “begin” on my whiteboard and moving on to “listen.”
Before I turn my attention from ordinary life, though, I want to take a moment to note what I’ve noticed so far. I’ve risen up above the treeline. I’ve taken a look at all of my clutter and ideas and worries and resources, organized, clarified and created places for each kind of input, and started to practice the habit of keeping my workflow clear. As new email, ideas and requests come in, I put them into my lists so that I’m not only reacting to the newest request. At any given moment, I can see what I’ve committed to already, and can easily determine how important the new issue that shows up is in relation to the whole. I am able to keep track on a weekly basis of whether I’m giving time and attention to my larger goals, and to the issues that may not be emergencies today, but which might become emergencies if I don’t maintain steady progress with them.
My responsibilities and commitments are clear. And what do I see?
– I’m actually doing a better job of living a creative life than I realize. Even in the busiest moments, I find time to sketch, to brainstorm, to cook a simple but interesting meal. I find playful approaches to nearly every task, and now that all the things I know I need to do are written down and not rattling around my head, I have been starting to have fun doing them one at a time.
– I’m committed to more than I can realistically do. However, I’m not alone in this. Nearly everyone is committed to more than they can do given our many dreams and our practical realities. Given the fact that I can do only one thing at a time, I can now decide which of the important things I’ll do at this moment and let the other tasks and projects wait. And I can practice saying no, standing on the strength of my clear knowledge of what I have already said yes to.
– For me, being busy isn’t the problem. I like being creatively engaged with my world. However, I enjoy doing tasks creatively. For instance, sending out a monthly newsletter to a mailing list sounds horrible to me. Inventing a themed monthly missive that sums up what I’m already thinking about and sharing it with people who really want to read it? Totally fun. Particularly if I give it a fun name and draw the logo. For me, it’s all about the approach.
– Even though I’ve been working steadily at creating a body of work for quite some time, I’m still at the very beginning. And that’s okay. I need to be comfortable with where I am and realize that with the huge projects I’ve taken on, I’m in for the long term.
I love this feeling, being able to see where I am clearly. I feel ready to open myself up now to listen. Sure, I have all of these projects and dreams. But, where am I being called to journey right now? Since I am at the beginning, in which direction should I head? I have a number of ideas of ways to listen: yoga, lectio divina, prayer, meditation, journaling, sketching, running, walking, sitting on the beach, reading, not reading, listening to music, taking time away. But instead of getting busy with any of them, I’m just going to start today by paying attention. Today, I’m going to notice every time I feel that breath of creativity flow through. What causes it? What’s tugging on my attention?
photo credit: CK Wong via photopin cc
by Naomi | May 7, 2014 | Creative Life, Tools & Apps
The Getting Things Done (GTD) method offers so much wisdom by way of collecting and organizing the stuff of life. I hope you’ve read the book by now. To get the most out of this post, you’ll want to be familiar with GTD and also with Evernote and Daylite.
If you’re strategizing before you start your GTD collection process, or puzzling through the finer details of the system, you may find these tips about how I’ve structured my system to be helpful.
Collection:
Checklists: I needed checklists to help me move through the collection process each week. I find that the checklists in Evernote are a perfect solution. I have a notebook called “Weekly Review” where I keep my trigger lists (as David Allen refers to them) and also where I keep my horizons document that outlines my vision, goals and areas of focus. Referring to these documents helps me when I’m making sure I truly have collected everything in my head.
Inbox/Outbox: One notorious place of disorder in my life is my car. Because almost half of my work is done out and about, I tend to collect papers, books, notes, and of course, clutter, on my back seats, passenger seat, on the floor and in the trunk. Beyond the inbox on my desk, I have an inbox in my car, and an outbox that I carry back and forth from my office to my car and back to my office each night. That way, those items that I need to address each day can make it into my office inbox, and those that need to go out from my office actually get into my car where I’ll need them.
One Journal: I have started using one journal for everything I jot down outside of my daily reflecting session. All meeting notes, workshop notes, brainstorms, quick thoughts about projects, spontaneous writing, drawings, everything, all goes here. I have an envelope in the front of my journal with stickers and I put a sticker on a page once it has been scanned for any to-do items. That way, I can move all thoughts of relevance into my computer system when I am back at my desk.
Siri: I found out that if you put Daylite on your phone, you can ask Siri to add tasks to your worklist. She’ll add them and they’ll show up in your Daylite on your computer and everywhere else. To make this work, you need to have the calendar CalDAV set up on your phone to sync with your desktop application.
Organization:
Project Support Materials: I wasn’t handling project support materials very well. In fact, I’d often start a project, and then lose the email, document or paper that I’d originally created. It was too much work to search all the places I might have put ideas about a project already in progress, so usually I just started over hoping my good ideas would show up again. Now, I’ve created a paper folder to match every project that is complicated enough to require support material and put it in a drawer file behind my desk. I have the drawers sorted by my big-picture categories (more on setting big-picture categories here.) I also have an Evernote notebook for every single project and when I finish working on a project for the day, I make a note about where I’m leaving things so it is easy to pick back up the next day. I can also keep project related research, emails, drafts of documents, and many other items in these project-specific folders in Evernote, too. I’ve stacked all of these project notebooks in one stack called “Daylite” (the name of my project/task management software. More on that soon)
A NOTE: Since I organize everything by my big picture categories: Core (personal), Connection (reaching out to others) etc, I use these words as the first in naming my notebooks to make the stack easier to navigate. So, one notebook is called Connection: Experimenting with our First SCBWI Agent Day.
A SECOND NOTE: I name my projects in ways that help me remember what my overall goal is with the project in order to remind myself every time I open up the project just what I’m doing and why.
Someday Maybe: I found that Someday Maybe items were the biggest reason I wasn’t able to keep my system clean (as David Allen suggests may happen in his book. You were absolutely right, David!) I realized the problem for me was that I had different kinds of Someday Maybe items, and not all of them should be in my to-do software. So now, I have a notebook stack in Evernote that organizes Someday Maybe notebooks for restaurants, vacations, classes, movies, etc. I also have a list of deferred projects (which Daylite allows me to do) for projects that I’ve started to think through but need to wait on. I also keep materials that come in on various areas of responsibility (marketing, fundraising, etc) in notebooks for those purposes. Then, when I need to explore new ways to market or fundraise, I can pull up those notebooks and explore instead of dealing with every new resource the day it comes into my email.
Processing:
Daylite: I use Daylite to organize my projects and opportunities. I like the system because it allows me to track all the emails and people connected with any given project. I’ve found that tagging for context, such as “Email” or “Office” allows me to track tasks most simply within Daylite. I have lists on my menu bar for each key context. I also use @HOT to keep the most important items in front of my mind, and only allow myself to use the Worklist (or flag in another system) for those items that truly must be done today.
I use “waiting for” as a tag for those items I’m waiting to hear back from others on, and “for later” for the items I don’t need on my active lists. Then, when I created my smart lists for the menu bar, I could tell the system not to include any of these types of items.
Reviewing:
Sketchnoting: I’ve found that reviewing is much more fun when I create a sketchnote to show myself where I am in my overall life. I keep these in a “Review” folder at my desk so that I can see the progress from week to week.
Three Top Projects: Before I complete my review, I write down my top three projects for the week. I always know that life will not go as I expect, but knowing what my top three priorities are for the week helps me remember where to focus when time gets tight.
photo credit: juhansonin via photopin cc
by Naomi | Apr 3, 2014 | Creative Life
It’s been a while since my last balance post. Yes, life has been busy, and yes, posting has fallen off the list of most important to-do’s. I’m not big on excuses so I probably wouldn’t even mention it. However, my delay is an excellent case in point. It’s essential to know what’s important when seeking balance. Wise advisors suggest that one shouldn’t start a blog if they don’t mean to keep it up on a very regular basis. Same with Facebook pages and Twitter accounts and various other social networks. I disagree.
I’d much rather have an irregular interesting post from one of my creative friends than not ever see a post from them. But creatives NEED their offline space and time. They can’t commit to constant online chatter. If we’re being honest, we know it’s nearly impossible to predict when a creative storm is coming on and we’ll need to disengage to hole up in our art spaces and imagine. Would any of us really want our creative friends to feel they should stop in the midst of that most-fabulous flow to post on their blog?? No, of course not. We don’t care that they’ve made a basic commitment to post on Tuesdays. We’re not watching our inboxes to see when they’ll post and fuming about this lack of responsibility on the part of these artists. We just check back later. And would we want them to take down their blog and never post again because it’s impossible for them to keep their implied commitment? No.
The current reality for artists is that we need to be online. The old ways of experiencing art: museums, libraries, etc, are all still around, but there are thousands of new ways, too. Part of being an artist is participating in the conversation. Throughout history, artists have soaked up what’s current and experimented with new mediums in order to innovate. For those reasons and others, most of us want to be online in one way or another. We like hearing about our friends’ successes and sharing an insight here and there. We enjoy having new ways to connect with our audience. We like the inspiration and creativity that comes with all the access we have to our friends, to information, to inspiration. What we don’t want is the guilt.
Guilt is one of the key reasons most creatives feel unbalanced. We carry it around with us and let it fill up all the mental space we need for creativity, thinking about all the things we SHOULD be doing. Guilt makes it impossible to work with a clear mind. Since there are programmers creating apps and social networks and thousands of avenues through which to connect and reach out and share our friends’ successes and put good ideas out into the world, not being able to do it all is a fact, plain and simple. Thus, guilt is the default.
I say, let technology work for you on YOUR schedule. Participate in the conversation when you can, and when you need space, trust your artist friends to pick up where you left off. Believe in the power of community. We’ll help you, and we’ll forgive you, and we’ll come back later. Diving into your creative cave is nothing to feel guilty about. We’ll return, we promise, when you’re ready for us.
All right. Manifesto complete. Now, on the topic of technology… It should work FOR you. In order to keep your life balanced, particularly with so much to juggle, some technological systems are likely to help you keep your life in order. Here are some programs that I like best.
Daylite: This Mac software is one of the most amazing I’ve ever used. The program allows me to organize my projects, appointments, contacts and to-do’s all in one database. Between tagging and linking, one can create a network of connections so that I can see all the emails that have to do with a particular project, all the people involved, all the emails from a particular person, all the tasks that have to be done on email, and more. Using Daylite, I’ve been able to keep my work out of my inbox, and when I do have snatches of time to do work, I can easily order my tasks and get them done rather than spend all my time trying to find them.
Evernote: I use Evernote as my virtual filing cabinet. I scan mail into it, notes from events, use it to collect PDF’s and online research and more. I also use the business feature to connect with my team and make even better use of any of our research time. When I need to find a document or note, I no longer have to search through stacks of paper, but can just search Evernote to find that one thing I thought I found that one time. As long as I know a word that is in the document, Evernote can find it. It’s a fabulously powerful tool.
Journal: I keep a journal with me at all times and keep all meeting notes, journal entries, quick notes and thoughts on paper. I know, it’s not technology, but I tried note-taking on my iPad with all kinds of apps until I realized the apps weren’t the problem. I missed the feel of pen on paper. My brain needs that physical connection. Sometimes simple is better, and you have to go with what works for you.
Also, on the journaling/note-taking front: I’ve been experimenting with info-doodling, so the journal is fun to look at, with images and words all mixed together. I can make more sense of what I wrote at a glance, rather than having to wade through words and more words trying to find that one note. One excellent resource to explore info-doodling is the book, The Doodle Revolution, by Sunni Brown.
Habit List: Habit List is an app that helps create a daily to-do list and keep you up to date on the things you want to do more regularly. I use it to keep track of the social media things I’d like to do daily, every other day, weekly and monthly. Having reminders in this list allows me to know what to do when I have those few moments to get online and be social, to help me make the most of the time I spend.
Yearly Calendar: Also, not technology. I have this paper year-at-a-glance calendar on my desk so I can see what to expect in upcoming months, and also so I can keep track of ongoing and changing goals. Here’s a link for a PDF, if you want one too. Blank Yearly Calendar
I’ll share more tools in upcoming posts, but these are some with which to start. I find that too many tools too quickly is worse than no tools at all. In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you. What tools help you maintain balance? What are your thoughts on how artists can revise their relationship with technology and social media to erase guilt and allow creative fresh air?
photo credit: Viewminder via photopin cc
