by Naomi | Aug 31, 2013 | Creative Life
So, have you come up with your areas of focus?
If you’re anything like me, once you have these shiny new buckets, you want to put the system in motion, feel as though some new breakthrough is happening. You need to SEE movement, growth, or evidence of this new-formed balance.
This post is going to be very practical. Before I go into specifics, though, I want to point out that research shows new habits take thirty consecutive days to form. Not thirty days helter-skelter. Thirty days in a row. So, if you really want to create a new thinking habit in which you stop berating yourself for all you’re not doing and you start celebrating the very interesting balance of the many factors in your life, you’re going to have to commit to it and stick to it for at least a month. When those pesky, “ACK, look at all I’m not doing” voices begin clamoring, you’ll have to assure them that you’re in process, you’re doing things one at a time, and that ultimately, balance is the measure of success, not the amount of tasks done.
I bet you’re nodding your head, saying, “Yep. I’m going to do this.” Unfortunately, nodding your head isn’t enough. You’ll forget that head nod when the going gets rough. You’re going to have to write an agreement with yourself. Here’s what should be on your agreement:
1. What are your areas of focus?
2. How will you know if you’re tapping into each? Will you journal at the end of each day, or do a mental check in before you fall asleep? Will you blog about your journey?
3. What will you do when you lose focus or balance? How will you move yourself back onto the course you’ve set?
4. How will you feel in 30 days after you’ve stuck to this commitment and given yourself daily acknowledgement for your successes?
Put this agreement somewhere that you can access easily, and look at it each day for your 30 days. The reminder will keep you on track, especially when things go awry.
Okay, now that you have your commitment, you need a more specific plan.
You’ll probably want to look back over your list of to-do’s that you used to figure out your areas of focus. I bet a lot of things on your list are parts of larger projects. Some may not be able to be done until others are done. See if you can make the list more manageable by naming the projects and listing any to-do’s you’re currently thinking of under those projects.
For instance: Write the Novel will likely have tasks involved, such as do a character interview, make a pinterest board to explore my setting, write chapter one, etc. SIDENOTE: Do not get caught up here trying to detail all the tasks you can possibly think of that go with this project. The point here is to make sure that anything that’s on your mind now, clogging up your mental space, is written down and in it’s proper place.
Once you’ve sorted projects, you’ll have remaining tasks. Some of them are just miscellaneous one-off things. For now, you can ignore these. Others are important things you want to try to do on a regular basis. I call these habits. For me, some examples are: run, write, sketch, choose a new book, plan meals, email friends to check in, etc. These are the things that aren’t on my t0-do list, and consequently, the parts of my life that suffer when I’m busy. Also, notice that they are the things that are most likely to help me stay healthy, creative, calm and connected. It’s no good to cram all of these into a day and then ignore them for another two months.
For each of your areas of focus, you should have at least one habit, and you’ll probably also have projects.
Use colored markers or pencils or a fancy program to categorize these. In a future post, I’ll share some of the techie tools I use to manage these kinds of lists, but for now, the important thing is seeing your life on a macro level.
Here’s what I want you to do. Focus for the next week on the habits. Make sure you get to each of them at least once this week. We’re all used to completing tasks and taking care of our to-do’s, and most likely you’ll get around to the projects on which you can make reasonable forward progress. But make the habits a priority. Do that, and stick to your commitment, and see how you feel after a week. I predict that your feeling of success will lead you to commit even more fully to your 30 days, and then what? Possibly a true life-transformation. A life in which you prioritize what matters to you. Worth the work? I’d say so.
photo credit: AForestFrolic via photopin cc
by Naomi | Aug 26, 2013 | Creative Life
I want to pause before elaborating on how I use these categories in my own life.
I was asked a good question about overwhelm and how I do so many things. It’s true. I do a lot of things in my life, mostly because I wear many hats. But what we’re talking about here isn’t about doing more things. It’s about the way we think about the things we do. The brutal truth is, no matter how many experts write books on task management and how many researchers explore efficiency, no one will ever discover a magic solution that will allow one to write a chapter of a novel while also answering email, paying bills and working out. I know, it’s disappointing news. I remember my similar disappointment as a child when I finally accepted the fact that short of recording multiple tracks, I would never be able to sing harmony with myself no matter how I manipulated my vocal chords. Being human… it’s tough.
Sometimes one can order tasks differently to speed things up, but in the end, we can honestly only do one, or maybe two things at one time. (If, say, we’re listening to an audio book and running at the same time.) But wouldn’t you say that attempting to pack more into every second is the opposite of balance? For me, balance is having a steady measuring stick that reassures or challenges me. I can easily look back over my day or week and say with clarity: I’m paying attention to the things that matter. I’m not a puppet being pulled by the strings of my life. I’m taking stock, adjusting, and while I’m never going to be perfect, I’m rather proud of myself for where I am right now. And perhaps, tomorrow, I should pay more attention to that big-picture priority that I seem to be avoiding.
I believe that overwhelm also starts in the thinking. It starts when you wake up with the to-do list scrolling through your mind, and that tiny inner voice whispers, I’ll never get it all done. You’ve started your day already behind, and you race through, trying to get to everything, and when you lay back down at night, you scold and berate yourself: I didn’t get it all done! I’m a complete disaster-mess.
Here’s the truth: you’re not going to get it all done. There’s far too much interesting, exciting, important stuff to do in our lives, and we’re just not capable of experiencing or accomplishing all of it. I used to tell myself this in one breath and in the next wave it away with a: Yeah, but I’m different. I might just be able to… Maybe you’re superwoman or superman, and you’re different from all the rest of us. But unless that’s the case, every day is going to be a fail until you change the way you think.
What I wasn’t willing to do was to simply accept that I wouldn’t get it all done and let myself be buffeted by the winds of chance and my overflowing inbox. Other people shouldn’t have the power to determine what you do with your time. Other people probably don’t want to. They haven’t sat quietly and set overall life goals for you and thought about priorities and considered your whole life. They’re just trying to make it through their own. The person who needs to reflect and consider and pray and contemplate to determine what’s important is you. And once you’ve set your priorities, you can ensure you’re dealing with the important things with the frequency they require. So, that’s why you need a list of your core priorities. But please don’t think of this list as a new to-do list. Call it your priority list or your essentials list or your “what I can’t live without list.”
I’ll write more soon about how I use my list in case you want tips for what to do with such a list once you have it. Until then, peace and balance to you.
photo credit: Vvillamon via photopin cc
by Naomi | Aug 22, 2013 | Creative Life
The day I realized I had a serious problem, I had an uninterrupted expanse of time stretching in front of me, no meetings, no deadlines and yet at dawn my heart was already galloping out of control with the panicked feeling that I’d never get everything done. I took out my journal, spilling panic and chaos onto the page, and realized that it was time for an intervention.
You may know that I used to run my own business, Society of Young Inklings–now I’m Executive Director as we’ve become a nonprofit, but the role is similar. I also write books, create curriculum, consult with young writers and adult writers, and am now Regional Advisor for my chapter of Society of Children’s Writers and Book Illustrators. The point is, though I do have to pay attention to responsibilities such as paying my mortgage, I don’t work for anyone else. I determine my own pace in nearly all of my roles. Thus, when I woke up, completely losing it, I had no one to blame but myself. No boss with unrealistic deadlines, no pressing publishing deadline. I realized: If I don’t do something, the rest of my life will be just like this.
Ick.
The trouble is, when you talk to friends, they suggest wisely, “Maybe you ought to slow down,” or “Just quit something.”
If you’re anything like me, sitting down and prioritizing only makes everything worse. To me, if I’ve dreamed it up, it’s a priority. I end up with a list of three hundred flagged items with no more focus or calm and all I’ve done is wasted an hour looking at my list.
On the other extreme end, if I use my inbox as my work-flow manager, I’m hopping to everyone else’s list of needs and to-do’s and what I really need is lost in the minute interruptions. Big projects, deep thinking? Forget it.
On this panicked day, I had a new idea. Instead of prioritizing, instead of looking at my to-do list, I was going to sit on the floor, take out my pens, and playfully list all the projects and ideas that were currently important to me. I tried to think about all parts of my life. Business, responsibilities to family, fun, creativity, health, chores, every single thing buzzing around in my brain. I ended up with a crazy list, with tasks such as “choose a new cable company” alongside “write a new novel.” While I wrote, I did a little color coding, whatever came easily, such as everything that had to do with health in one color, creativity in another. But I didn’t worry too much about what color something should be if it didn’t fit anywhere, really. Once I had the giant list, I looked at my list and tried to build a “dream life.” If my goal was to have strong abs, I’d need 10 minutes a day for sit-ups. I’d need some time each day for a workout, for writing, for emailing and doing day to day business, etc, etc, etc. I discovered that I needed about three days per 24 hours in order to do all that I expected from myself.
Hmmm.
This is the point after which I usually put my color-coded papers into a folder and avoid looking at them, as they are a dream I cannot achieve. But this day I did not. I refused to wake up the next day with that same horrible feeling, not when the only person causing it was ME.
So, I read over my list. And read it again. And again.
And I took out a new paper. In my dream life, I’d clearly be creative. Maybe I’d be working on that novel, or drawing, or dancing, or going to an art museum. But not all in the same moment. In my dream life, I’d also be healthy. I’d run, drink water, learn to cook healthy meals, maybe grow veggies in my own garden. Again, not all at once. In my dream life, I’d be responsible. I’d handle the busy tasks of life and get them done, out of my space and move on to what I cared most about. People would know they could count on me when I committed to get things done for them. I kept going, and my list ended up with the following six categories:
1. Creativity
2. Health: Body, Mind, Spirit
3. Responsibility/Earning a Living Wage
4. Spreading the Word about What I’m Doing
5. Visioning and Big New Projects
6. Spending Time with Friends and Family, Having Fun
As I looked over the tasks on my to-do list, I realized that without any of these parts to my life, I’d be unhappy. Writing a novel only, with no time with friends, no time spent working out or being healthy, no dreaming about what was next, no money coming in, and no one knowing about the books I’d already written, would feel empty. It didn’t matter how much I loved writing. I couldn’t just write all the time. In fact, with any of these six elements missing, I’d realized I’d definitely feel out of sorts. And over time, neglecting any of these areas would cause me to lose energy, momentum, and ultimately become blocked.
So, I decided to try an experiment. Instead of evaluating my day on the QUANTITY of what I did, I’d evaluate my week on the balance of these areas. If a certain day was 80% creativity, then the next might be 80% responsibility. The only goal was having some kind of balance between the six areas over the week. Since I wanted to make my check-ins easy and appealing, I decided my list needed better names for the categories. Here’s what I came up with:
1. Creativity
2. Core
3. Commitment
4. Cultivation
5. Casting Dreams
6. Connection
At week’s end, I used a page with these categories labeled to evaluate how I was doing in these areas and if anything important was being left behind. My measure of success slowly started to shift. Sometimes, I’d have to take an unexpected trip to an art museum to make sure that I was addressing my creativity. One day, I sent an out of the blue email to someone I admired to take a first step toward my dream of helping the Inklings grow. My task list and getting things done felt more like a scavenger hunt for pieces that fit rather than an overwhelming pile that I wanted to hide behind the closet door.
Okay, this has been a long post, so I want to bring it back to you. I don’t think you should take my categories and try to run with them. I’m a visionary personality, so “casting dreams” has to be on my list. It may not be on yours. Your priorities and how you think about them (and label them) should be part of the game. I’d suggest you start from the beginning and let your list emerge from your life. I think it would be okay to have only four categories, or maybe seven, but I think seven is the very maximum. And three is probably too few.
Here’s the steps I’d suggest (ACTIVITY):
1. Gather materials that feel playful–paper, crayons, colored pencils, colored pens, stickers, whatever appeals to you. Sit on the floor or somewhere other than where you work and make sure you can be entirely alone for at least a half hour.
2. List everything you can think of that’s important in your life. Responsibilities, dreams, projects, people: they’re all important. You can color code or be very helter-skelter. If it will help you to set a boundary, time yourself for twenty minutes.
3. Read your list. Read it again, thinking: what’s REALLY important to me here? Now, read it again, thinking about categories. What big areas do you see?
4. If you only have a half hour, now’s the time to take a break and let your thoughts germinate.
5. When you’re ready, write down your categories. Don’t try to be clever with names to start. Once you have your list, then you can start into labeling creatively.
6. Make a playful page that you can use for a review at the end of your week with your new categories. Keep in mind that things might change as you launch into this process. Maybe you’ll combine two categories. Or add a new one. Stay open, and explore. Make copies of your page, though, so it’s easy to review for a few weeks in a row.
And that’s it! This part is just the start, though, so come back soon for more on how to trouble-shoot when difficulty arises, and for how to take this process further.
by Naomi | Aug 22, 2013 | Creative Life
It’s time for a new blog series, one I’ve been planning for quite some time.
I hear it all the time in conversations, and the same longing echoes in my own heart. I want balance. I want a joy-filled life. I want to do meaningful work, to help others, to be creative, to be healthy, to have time for friends and family, to have fun time, and on and on the list goes. I don’t want to answer every “How are you?” with “Ugh. Too busy.” I especially don’t want to answer every “How’s your writing?” with an “I just never seem to have time.”
When I work with writers, young and young at heart, I hear the same story. “I want to have time for writing, but…”
Just bypassing the creative block isn’t enough. Or maybe it’s just that it’s not the start. I think the starting place is wrangling one’s life. Now, I have to tell you, working on this project has been a ten-year, maybe more, project for me. Thus, I’m not about to tell you that I’ve stumbled across some simple magic fix for balancing one’s life. Balance isn’t simple. Yet, I have spent hours and hours of trial and error, and while my life still isn’t perfectly balanced, I’ve learned some important lessons.
1. It never WILL be balanced. There’s an ebb and flow.
2. Throwing in the towel and just going with the ebb and flow isn’t the entire answer. That approach leads to either a blocked or lazy or overwhelmed life.
3. One needs a system, but it has to be loose enough to actually work with the ebb and flow. And the system absolutely can’t lead to guilt, or you’re back to the blocked, lazy or overwhelmed life.
So, what do you do when you need a system and you also need to flow? A kindergarten teacher would say you need color-coded buckets. While what’s in the bucket might still be chaotic, when you can train the kids to put their toys away at the end of play-time, there’s always that moment at the end of the day when everything is back in it’s place, where the class can take a collective breath. Then, the next day, fresh decisions can be made, new games can be invented, and everyone trusts that at the end of theday, everything will find the way back into the buckets. A spectacular mess simply can’t be made when you’re afraid it can’t be dealt with later.
It’s a simple concept, and at first glance, it may seem too simple. But why not try it out with me and see what you discover? Here’s what we’ll explore in the next few posts. I’ll tell you my story and share the exercises that worked for me… try mine, or let them inspire ideas of your own.
Part One: What buckets do I need? How do I even start sorting with the giant mess I’ve got?
Part Two: Fine. I’ve got buckets now. How do I keep track in the ebb and flow?
Part Three: Technology please? There’s got to be an app for that.
Part Four: What happens when days go by and I’ve totally lost sight of the buckets?
Part Five: Umm… I have all this creative energy now. What’s next?
Ready to dive in? Look for Part One over the next few days.
